absentee's blog
Posted at 7:30pm on Jun. 25, 2008 The Only Thing To Fear - Open Thread
By absentee
Read On For Fake Photo and Poster Download ...
Posted in 2008 | fearmongering | Open Thread | scary — Comments (11) / Email this page » / Read More »
Posted at 3:04pm on Jun. 13, 2008 Graphic Design Contest - Fake It [CLOSED]
By absentee
“The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made.” - Groucho Marx
Ladies, Gentlemen, and gamecock, welcome to the second ever RedState graphic design contest!
If you don't know what this is all about, click here. To download the raw image, click here.
Posted in Blogosphere | Graphic Design Contests — Comments (60) / Email this page » / Read More »
Posted at 4:53pm on Jun. 11, 2008 LA Times: "Oh No You Dih Ent"
By absentee
The McCain campaign held a conference call this afternoon with reporters, discussing the latest example of Democrats hilariously trying to excerpt McCain in order to make him look out of the loop on Iraq.
I don't know who keeps telling the DNC this is a worthwhile effort, but it is sort of like putting David Beckham on TV to claim Carolina Panther Steve Smith doesn't know anything about football. You're not even talking the same sport Senator Obama. McCain is discussing a successful surge, you are discussing a quagmire. He's in 2008, you're in 1968. He's talking football, you mean soccer.
During the conference call, Senator Joe Lieberman said that it was particularly nasty to question whether John McCain understands the sacrifices of military families, considering his father, his own experiences, and his son's service.
Posted in 2008 | Los Angeles Times | Treason Media — Comments (20) / Email this page » / Read More »
Posted at 5:21pm on Jun. 10, 2008 Tell Your Friends about Jim Johnson
By absentee
In explaining the Johnson scandal to someone this morning, I thought about how nice it would be to have some kind of visual aid. So I made this little graphic which I referred to as a "scandal map." Thought you might find it useful for emails.
Also, don't forget Erick Erickson's video summary:
Posted in Miscellanea — Comments (15) / Email this page » / Read More »
Posted at 8:00am on May 30, 2008 Graphic Design Contest - Obama Gaffes (CONTEST CLOSED)
By absentee
Ladies, Gentlemen, and gamecock, welcome to the first of several RedState graphic design contests!
If you don't know what this is all about, click here.
Good? Ok, so this time, the contest theme is (imagine musical fanfare here):
Posted in Blogosphere | Graphic Design Contests — Comments (95) / Email this page » / Read More »
Posted at 11:38pm on May 26, 2008 Erick Erickson on Hannity & Colmes
By absentee
Tonight Erick joined Alan Colmes, Rich Lowry, Townhall's Amanda Carpenter and political analyst Keli Goff. Enjoy!
"It's nice to see Jimmy Carter stabbing the Clintons in the back instead of the country like he usually does ..."
Bam! Ha!!
Part Two after the jump.
Posted in Breaking News | Erick Erickson | Hannity & Colmes — Comments (22) / Email this page » / Read More »
Posted at 8:26am on May 13, 2008 The Obamacan Can
By absentee
The Political hacks at MoveOn.org recently teamed up with other hacks from a variety of disciplines, such as Ben Affleck ("acting"), Markos Moulitsas ("blogging"), Oliver Stone ("directing") and Eddie Vedder ("thinking") among others, to run a contest designed to get regular people to create their advertising for them. The contest, Obama in 30 Seconds, was judged by the above and other entertainment and media has-beens and also-rans, and was designed to find "really creative ads that will engage and enlighten viewers and help them understand the grassroots energy that's driving Barack Obama's campaign." MoveOn and I agree that, if anything in the political world requires explanation to be understood, it's the Obamanauts.
Posted in 2008 | Barack Obama Is Better Than You | Obamacan — Comments (15) / Email this page » / Read More »
Posted at 2:17pm on Apr. 25, 2008 Pickle you, cumquat!!
By absentee
Reverend Jeremiah Wright is talking again. After a period of self-imposed media exile, the Wright Reverend gave an interview to Bill Moyers, which airs tonight. In it, he suggests that his treatment was unfair, and that his words have been taken out of context. As Moe notes, ABC News has provided that "context" for some of his most controversial remarks.
Reading the portion Moe highlights leaves me with a question:
Wha ... ?!?
For every one Tiger Woods, who needs to get beat, at the Masters, with his cap, blazin’ hips playing on a course that discriminates against women. God has his way of bringing you up short when you get too big for your cap, blazin' britches.
I grant you, I'm not at the height of hip, or even blazin' hip, but I've not found this colloquialism or slang in Google or anywhere else. When I read that I just had to wonder ... what does it mean? I felt like this guy:
Posted in blazing hips | Liberals | lint licker | Reverend Wright — Comments (12) / Email this page » / Read More »
Posted at 8:42pm on Apr. 9, 2008 American Idol: Idol Gives Back
By absentee
I don't doubt that many in America have sneers or sarcasm, not dollars, for Idol Gives Back. I further don't doubt there are some here at Redstate that feel this way. I'm not one of those.
Charity is a beautiful force in the world, improving the lives and fortunes of the recipient and giver alike. And the fact that Americans can cross both ideological and popular culture divides and share a common, deep sense of compassion for the less fortunate, both here and around the world, is a bond between us all.
Sometimes charity drives can annoy conservatives when they start spouting liberal tropes and truisms. I know they can annoy me. I hope you can look past that and participate in a worthwhile effort.
Real children experience genuine improvement in their lives, sometimes transformative beyond words, as a result of this Idol charity drive. This is everyone's chance to help those kids.
I urge you to look past your objections and participate with conservatives and liberals, the cool and the uncool, hipsters and dorks and, yes, even celebrities and Maria Shriver. Please take time tonight to donate. If you really object, make this a night to donate to any charity of your choice.
Other Charities:
www.ONE.org
The Red Cross
Salvation Army
Wounded Warrior Project
Soldiers Angels
Feel free to add others in comments.
Please take a moment and make this a night of charity. Somewhere in the world, a small face and a small voice is suffering. Tonight, America is going to answer that tiny cry for help. I hope you'll be a part of it. I know I will.
Update: Feddie here. Absentee was kind enough to invite me to list a few prolife organizations that y'all may want to consider donating money to in lieu of Idol Gives Back. So, here goes:
Project Rachel: You can donate the money to your local Catholic Diocese.
Or you can, and probably should, donate money to your local Crisis Pregnancy Center
Cross-posted at The Minority Report
Posted in American Idol | Charity | Culture | Idol Gives Back — Comments (22) / Email this page » / Read More »
Posted at 8:15am on Apr. 1, 2008 Muppets Much Worse Than Thought
By absentee
As mentioned by publiusforum yesterday, the Muppets are being used in an anti-capitalist movie.
It's even worse than you think. Below is a leaked clip of an anti-American protest song from this "movie".
Posted in Breaking News | Dirty Ricks | dirty tricks | Muppets | Terror — Comments (8) / Email this page » / Read More »
Posted at 12:42pm on Mar. 31, 2008 Warrior
By absentee
Keith Matthew "Matt" Maupin, Rest In Peace
Matt Maupin was the missing man for four years. On Sunday, March 30th, his father announced that the Army had found Matt's remains. As in wars past, a warrior has moved from MIA to KIA.
Matt was missing in action as a result of an ambush attack on his fuel convoy. Ten lives were lost, and two men missing. One of the missing, civilian Thomas Hammil, was taken hostage during the attack but later escaped. Matt remained the only member of the convoy unaccounted for.
Posted in Courage | Iraq | Matt Maupin | War — Comments (6) / Email this page » / Read More »
Posted at 6:46pm on Mar. 28, 2008 Do Jumbotrons Dream of Electric Democrats?
By absentee
Through a series of website links, starting with Kos and ending here, I was treated to another group planning election year shenanigans. Unlike the group I blogged about a few days ago, this one is is planning their unconventional convention protest for Minneapolis, site of the Republican National Convention.
Posted in Jumbotron | Liberals | Protest | Self-importance — Comments (13) / Email this page » / Read More »
Posted at 3:59am on Mar. 26, 2008 The Most Daring Liars
By absentee
What does it take to be a lying Democrat? Oh, I know what you are thinking, "but I repeat myself," and hey, I'm with you. What I'm talking about, though, is what exactly does it take to be called one? What do you have to say, as a Democrat, to get even Bill O'Reilly to say you lied, not misspoke?
Posted in 2008 | bosnia | Hillary | liars | Obama — Comments (58) / Email this page » / Read More »
Posted at 5:40pm on Mar. 22, 2008 Ah, my ridiculously circuitous plan is one-quarter complete!
By absentee
Well there you have it. Redstate has officially let me in. Like me, you're probably wondering how this could have happened. Has Redstate jumped the shark?
I've been blogging for over 4 years now, I think - it's hard to tell time online. Before that I was a frequent message board pontificator and, before that, I would just harass people at parties with off the cuff essay recitations. You haven't lived until tried to engage someone on Burke's 1777 Address to the British Colonists in North America during a drinking contest at the barracks.
Introducing The Blogtastic Top Five All Time List Of Absenteupidity
Number Five:
Upon returning to the barracks from my late night second job distributing pizza coupons, I reached into my pocket to search for my keys to unlock the door. My left hand was full with my keys, so I searched the right pocket first. They weren't there, so I took the keys from my left hand and put them into my right hand, that I might search my left pocket. No luck.
Frustrated, I put the keys into my mouth so I could look in both pockets at the same time. I kept patting myself down and getting more frustrated.
But they were in my mouth, you see.
... Good times.
It's been a rocky road for me online. When I started out, I was a wanna-be writer, opining in juvenile discussion forums about the senselessness of human existence and exchanging amateur poetry; experiencing and sharing paeans to artistic genius and analysis such as "I like the way every other line rhymes for the most part."
Posted in absentee | Archived | Humor | mysteries | newbies — Comments (63) / Email this page » / Read More »
Posted at 12:33pm on Mar. 22, 2008 19, 19, 1968
By absentee
"I think we've got a bunch of thugs here, Dan"
The year was 1968. Rowan & Martin's Laugh-In debuted on NBC. The Green Bay Packers won Super Bowl II, making them, for the second year in a row, the only team ever to win a Super Bowl.
1968 was the year of the Battle of Khe Sahn and The Tet Offensive. It is the year Reverend Martin Luther King Jr. was assassinated by James Earl Ray, and
Read On ...
Posted in 1968 | Democrats | hippies | Liberals — Comments (68) / Email this page » / Read More »
