By CB Posted in 2008 — Comments (26) / Email this page » / Leave a comment »
Today the Republican Center for Disease Control and Mental Health issued the following bulletin:
Alert: Huckaspasm Syndrome Debilitating
Huckaspasm Syndrome is a debilitating condition that causes severe mental anguish and uncontrolled outbursts of incoherent speech.
Headache, frothing at the mouth, hyperbole, irrational ranting, excessive blogging, bloodshot eyes, name calling, hate speech, flamebacks, small caucuses.
Christian leaders expressing their heartfelt faith, polls showing an informed electorate dismissing your Presidential candidate of choice, innocuous commercials wishing everyone a Merry Christmas, any utterance of a word or name with the prefix "Huck".
Acceptance of you and your candidate's failings to effectively communicate a winning vision. Quite reflection upon why your candidate of choice has not caught fire. Respectfully debate issues with others.
Health officials have identified rampant unprotected blogging on RedState as the leading cause of Huckaspasm Syndrome. "It's like a San Francisco bathhouse in the 1980's" said one social conservative, "they have no restraint, no self control, Huckaspasm is being spewed everywhere."
Update: Officials now believe that Huckaspasm Syndrome may have spread from the bile of DailyKos sub-human primates infecting normal political discourse.
Update II: Scientists are trying to determine if there is a connection between Bush Derangement Syndrome and Huckaspasm Syndrome, the symptoms appear to be similar.