Helping Nancy Get Out of the Office More Often
By Repair Man Jack Comments (2) / Email this page » / Leave a comment »
It seems the Most Ethical House Speaker In US History!™ has reached an impasse. As part of her ethic cleansing routine, she banned the use of corporate jets for members of the House of Representatives. This looked good in news type, but presented her with logistical problems like having to walk all the way to Maui to attend her next NARAL convention.
This led Speaker Pelosi to finally discover a line in the military budget that she no longer sought to permanently delete. It seems that the US Air Force at last has a higher moral purpose. The may receive the honor of providing Speaker Pelosi with a Golden Chariot to fly her about on her regal business.
According to her political enemies, she initially requested a C-32A. They gleefully point out some of its more luxurious features.
a luxurious and specially configured version of the Boeing 757-200 commercial intercontinental airliner. The plane seats 45 passengers with business-class accommodations and a crew of up to 16, depending on the mission. It features a communications center, a fully enclosed stateroom for the primary passenger, a changing area, a conference facility, an entertainment system, and a convertible divan that seats three and folds out to a bed. The C-32 can cost as much as $22,000 an hour to operate.
Ah, but the US Air Force consists of evil baby-killers that just can’t get with the program. They’ve made a counter-offer of the rather plebian C-20 that sufficed for even the rather ample personage of Dennis Hastert. They also had the gall to attach a significant list of restrictions on how this aircraft would be used.
Pentagon spokesman Cmdr. J.D. Gordon outlined the rules and restrictions governing Speaker Pelosi's use of the C-20:
No more than 10 passengers (C-20's seat only 12 passengers, not including up to 5 crew members);
No travel to political events;
Members of the speaker's family cannot fly unless the speaker makes a request in writing. The Pelosi family has to reimburse the U.S. Treasury for the cost of a coach ticket per person for the travel, as well as for any food;
Members of Congress cannot fly on the plane unless their travel has been cleared with the House Committee on Standards (the Ethics Committee);
Pelosi's husband can travel for free, but only for official protocol purposes.
I see no reason to be so draconic. I think we can all come together and reason. The Air Force offer crimps Speaker Pelosi’s style and the Boeing Jumbo-Jet oozes too much bling even for a Kanye West, Eminem and Red Hot Chili Peppers World Tour. I propose we find a 3rd way; a Lean Six Sigma Way. Someone should give me a black belt for this one.
We issue Speaker Pelosi a C-23 Sherpa. It’s light, dependable and can easily be configured for airdrop missions, any time she feels the overwhelming urge to chuck Alcee Hastings or Jane Harman out of the back after heated discussions about intelligence.
She could have it anytime she could stand, er, I mean want to fly in it. It’s a chance for her to gain a better understanding of the troops; especially on for the long trips. The C-23 Sherpa comes equipped with a bucket in the back so she could squat down and pee.
features...a convertible divan that seats three and folds out to a bed