Bill Clinton called as witness in The Sun v Al Gore
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As previously reported in Redstate comments and diaries (mysteriously lost on gamecock's blog), Mike Gamecock DeVine filed an intra-galactic defamation lawsuit on behalf of Milky Way star, The Sun against former vice-president and Peter Finch in the movie "Network" impersonator, Al Gore.
The Sun claims responsibility for all significant warming of Planet Earth.
Gore claims that Homo Sapiens are threatening the survival of Man and Planet Earth herself through Man's own planetary warming devices.
Cow flatulence advocates are considering intervening as a third party to the action.
However, in a surprise move, The Sun has listed a fellow parishioner of Gore's in the Church of Man-Made Global Warming (CMMGW) as a witness against Gore.
The witness is former President Bill Clinton who made the rounds of the cable and network news shows in the Winter of 2005-6 and repeated what he and his Church considers a CMMGW "scare" line that actually supports The Sun's claim of slander.
Bill Clinton warned that Manhattan Island could lose 50 feet in the next 50 years due to the warming activities of Man. Madison Square Garden is more than 50 feet from the East and Hudson Rivers.
The Sun's discovery findings show that half the Eastern Seaboard was under the Atlantic Ocean for thousands of years before the first Chevrolet exhausted its first fume into the Earth's atomosphere. The main piece of evidence is a bank of sharks' teeth in Columbia, South Carolina.
Columbia is over 150 miles from The Atlantic.
The Sun proposes to depose the former President under Oath in hopes of using the testimony to move for summary judgment on liability and a trial only on the amount of damages to the planet's reputation.
Negotiations have stalled on the meaning of the word "is" and where the Knicks will play.
Mike Gamecock DeVine @ The Charlotte Observer
Starbucks coffee cups are dangerous, but
"One man with courage makes a majority." - Andrew Jackson
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Seems he was rhetorically gored, by Senator Inhofe today. At the senate website we get to see Gore impaled on the metaphorical boar spear of his own hypocrisy.
I suspect he will be pleading non compos mentis, until he can come up with a really good rationalization.
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"Those who expect to reap the blessings of freedom must, like men, undergo the fatigue of supporting it."
-Thomas Paine: The American Crisis, No. 4, 1777
Or perhaps an overdose of Hostess Twinkies.
Fides non in bonus intentions , tamen in bonus factum
For more common sense conservatism, visit the Show Me Conservatism blog.
Now I have a suit against you, as I injured myself falling out of my chair laughing at this piece. Expect my shyster to be contacting you forthwith posthaste!
Mike Gamecock DeVine @ The Charlotte Observer
Starbucks cups hurl
"One man with courage makes a majority." - Andrew Jackson
refuses your subpoena, but offers to testify in private, and not under oath. He suggests any number of ways a blue dress "could get stuff" on it.
Perhaps outside of these areas, in which he certainly qualifies as expert, he is not the most credible witness your client could call.
--
See the Academy
"Whit" was the best I could do considering the language restrictions.
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Thou art the Great Cat, the avenger of the Gods, and the judge of words...-Inscription on the Royal Tombs at Thebes
Law & Order. Fred Thompson on verge of agreeing. Wants Detective Stabler to guard ADA during deposition, though.
Algore cites the precedent of "No Controlling Legal Authority"!
time out in ths sun, IMHO.
Managing Editor