The Congressional Lunch Corporation
By kowalski Comments (0) / Email this page » / Leave a comment »
People have to eat, right? And when you're a hungry Hill staffer and a lobbyist or news organization wants to have a chat, the best place to do so is over a nice burger at Fuddruckers, or maybe while talking delicately over some sushi, or at least while you chew and savor a little bit of perfectly fried tofu at that Thai place just around the corner.
The Donks are so insistent on cleaning up the "culture of corruption" in Washington that they've imposed some new, nebulous and I think downright mean bans on the simple gustatory gratuities that might pry loose a little, precious nugget of information -- not because someone is beholden, mind you -- just because people tend to think better on a full stomach.
Which brings me to this, from today's WaPo: (h/t: Drudge, indirectly)
Food for Thought
Call it the McDonald's clause.
Underpaid Hill aides who have long relied on journalists' expense accounts for pricey meals and fine wines better start thinking fast food.
The proposed ethics package, crafted by Democrats and first up on the House calendar, bans legislators and staffers from receiving gifts and meals not only from lobbyists but also from the organizations that employ them.
So, to spell it out: Any news organization that employs a lobbyist -- and there are many, including The Washington Post -- no longer will be able to court congressional sources over an expensive steak, or even cheap fries.
The new ban and how to interpret it has caused much confusion on the Hill. There is a long list of "common sense" exemptions, which would suggest that Hill folks will need to carry a laminated copy of the bill with them at all times.
In my opinion, this is a horrible development, but it has created a new opportunity. Our Congressional staffers should not have to suffer through life in famished ignominy, brown-bagging it just to talk with a journalist or a lobbyist (even a citizen-journalist.)
So I'm thinking of starting a business to fill this new need:
"The Congressional Lunch Corporation"
The basic idea here is that the company acts -- on a strictly bipartisan basis -- to fill the gaping hole in people's stomachs left by this needlessly cruel piece of misguided legislation. How does it work? Well, an outline could be something like this:
1) Every Congressional office could chip in a little money out of their budget to the CLC -- and so could lobbying and news organizations, as well as private citizens. All the money would go into a pool, and everything would be strictly accounted for.
2) Based on that buying power, the CLC would perform a value-added service by using the money to procure coupons and arrange luncheons and other noshy meetings for eager staffers and their counterparts with local food establishments.
3) The CLC would disburse the coupons according to a formula that would guarantee that neither the Republicans nor the Democrats can bite off more than the other party.
4) They could do this with a simple website that all parties could give money to in advance -- with no quid pro quos. When the money runs out, no more coupons.
No favoritism practiced here, and just a minor modest profit. But the CLC would coordinate these meals and help restaurants get some recognition, employ a few people, and perform a useful service. And no money would be coming directly out of a lobbyist's pocket and going directly into someone's mouth just for the sake of a single conversation.
Whaddya think? I think it's a horrible idea to allow the intrepid souls on Capitol Hill to go undernourished, especially when there's going to be so much juicy to talk about during this Congress. And done correctly, some eager Internet entrepreneur could make a tidy profit and perform a much-needed public service. Plus we'll avoid the awkward peanut-butter-and-jelly stains and the "gotcha" games.
What say ye for this kind of market-based bipartisanship? Let's hear some discussion of this idea, before everybody starves, for Pete's sake.
[BTW: I want a little credit, a modest royalty, and a chance at ownership if anyone thinks this idea is worth pursuing. I'm not greedy, I'm serious, and the Directors have my email address. This article and the idea are copyright: me.]