Redstate

By Lord_Vegas Posted in Economy — Comments (53) / Email this page » / Leave a comment »

They comed back!

Well, I had a pretty big day ahead of me, cuz I had to go down and get my government unemployment check, so I was plannin on getting up early at the crack of 11:30. But don’t ya know, my dogs started barkin again and woked me up reel early – close to 10:00. Now they started barkin again jist like there was a coon or squirrel fussin with them, or like they do when a b*tch in heat is traipsing through the neighborhood. Or, when someone is fixin to walk through their yard.

Now this gets my suspicions up and so I looks out the window and sure enough, that old Plymouth Voyager van is back, this time with three guys in it. Now I don’t know if they think that with three of them they can take me – this is what we would call a fallacy – or if they think this new guy is more persuasive.

Naturally I had been sleeping on the pullout sofa in the living room, so I jump up and close it right up. Fact is, I wanted to talk to those guys again cuz I’ve been cogitating on what they said (before the fightin begun) and theys several things I wanna ask them.

I got the impression the last time from little things they said, that they didn’t have a whole lot of respect for me and mine. I figured if I want to talk to them as equals I better try to make a better impression, so I grab all the dirty underwear and socks and things scattered around the living room and throw it into a pile behind the TV where they won’t see it.

Quick like, I throw on a “America – Love it or Leave it!” T-shirt, without no holes in it, and a pair of overhauls I only weared once working on the engine of the van. Of course I don’t have time to find any shoes and socks, ‘specially since I just chucked them all behind the TV without thinking.

By now they should be at my door, but they ain’t. I looks out the window again and see that they is avoiding my home, instead goin to talk to my neighbors. Well, I knows my neighbors, and frankly they is a couple of intellectual lightweights, if you knows what I means. I watches a few minutes as they talk together on the front porch and then the new guy shakes my neighbors hand and they give him a couple bumper stickers what say [He-who-must-net-be-named] for President – Hope for America. I’m not sure what they was thinking, cuz that neighbor don’t even got a car – not even one up on blocks that he could fix up and drive, so I don’t know where he expects to put those bumper stickers.

Well, they leaves that neighbor now, and is lookin around to figure where to go next. I see that one of the guys from the other day still has a pretty good shiner, and he keeps lookin over at my house with a mean look in his eye. Since he’s lookin anyways, I takes this opportunity to step out onto the porch and smiling like, wave they to come on over.

Shiner guy jist gives me the “we’re number one sign” with his middle finger, but the new guy sees me and starts to come over. The other two confer with him, but as I am still smiling and waving them to come over, he seems to talk them into it. I hear him say, “Sheeple” to shinerguy, although I don’t know what that means. Now I is doing all I can to make them welcome as I wants to engage them in debate. Just yesterday I brushed both my teeth, and anyone can tell ya, when the green is off the teeth, I can be pretty engaging!

Now, once I gits them into the trailer, I sits them down on the put-back-together sofa, and I sits facing them in the armchair with the broken spring.

“I’ve been thinkin about what you said about fiat money,” I sez, “and I wanted to engage you in debate about that concept. Now it seems to me that what you is proposin will cause a huge disruption in the money system, and maybe bring about another Depression.”

The first two guys is looking back and forth, and at the new guy, who seems now to be their spokesman. He just smiles at them and under his breath like, mutters, “Sheeple.” I still don’t know what he means but I continues to smile.

“Let me explain,” I sez. “You say, that the govenment just keeps printin money, and since they ain’t any gold in the treasury to back that money, the money is jist worthless.”

“Essentially, that is correct,” sheepleguy agrees. “That is why [He-who-must-not-be-named] will return the US to a gold standard. Once our currency is backed by gold, it will have value in the world marketplace,” he sez.

“Okay, how much US money is there out there right now?” I asks, not really expectin an answer, so I continue right on. “Probley billions and billions (now I sound like that Carl Sagan guy) Maybe even trillions and trillions. Am I right?”

“Yeah, that’s about right,” sheepleguy agrees. “That is why it is worthless and why we must back it with gold.”

“Okay,” sez I. “I don’t know how much gold our country has, but I can guess that there ain’t enough gold in Fort Knox to cover all the dollars we got out there.” Now, I empty my coffee can and all my pockets onto the coffee table in front of me. Counting out the dollars and coins, “now it looks like I have about $10 in savings,” I sez. “If we only have enough gold in this country to back half of the money that is out there, if we go to your plan, won’t my $10 suddenly be worth about $5?”

“Under any monetary transition to a constitutional currency, there are bound to be temporary moments of discomfort for certain of our citizenry. What [He-who-must-not-be-named] is talking about is the necessity of returning ourselves to a constitutional basis for our government, and returning our country to a sound monetary policy that makes our currency truly valuable in world markets” sheepleguy explains.

From this I take him to have said, “Yes!”

“So under your plan, all those people who have savings built up and are now retired, will now have that savings totally wiped out?”

“They are having that savings wiped out right now, by inflation,” sheepleguy explains. “What we are proposing is what is better for the future economic health of our nation.”

“So you is proposin to pull the plug, rather than keep the patient alive on life-support?” I asks. Without waitin for an answer, I goes on.

“I don’t know how much gold there is in the US, but lets just say, for the purpose of demonstration, that the US has 2000 tons of gold to back our money. That’s about 4 million pounds, or 48 million ounces of gold.”

Now, shinerguy has been working his fingers as I say this, and right then he pops up with, “That’s not right. The figure would be 64 million ounces.” He looks real smug like he thinks he’s caught this stupid hick makin a simple math mistake.”

I gives him a look like I jist caught him with his finger up his nose – he should be embarrassed by don’t know it yet. “Which is heavier,” I ask him, “A pound of gold or a pound of feathers?”

“That’s a trick question,” he laughs like he thinks he’s got me. “They weigh the same. A pound is a pound!”

“Trickier than you think,” I sez. “A pound of feathers weighs more, cuz they is 16 ounces in a pound of feathers, and only 12 ounces in a pound of gold!”

“To continue, the price of gold has fluctuated a whole lot over the last 50 years. For years and years it was $35 an ounce, which would make that 48 million ounces worth about $1.68 billion dollars. Now lately, gold has hit $600 an ounce, making that same amount of gold worth $28.8 trillion. That’s a whole big difference. Now, we knows that gold ain’t never gonna be worth $35 an ounce again, but the difference between $400 and $600 can make a huge difference in the amount of money we got in this country.”

Sheepleguy is looking a bit confused. He clearly wants to cut me off, but I continue.

“Let us jist say that gold is worth $500 an ounce, making our money supply $24 trillion. We issue money to that amount, and it goes into the pockets of the American citizens. Now suddenly, lets say, there is a big gold mine find in Russia, to borrow from a Tom Clancy novel.” I throws this in jist to prove that I is well read in the classics!

“Now, this big gold find sends the world price of gold down to $300 an ounce. What we gonna do? Are we gonna go around and confiscate 40% of the money out there in the money supply, or do we jist say, ‘the price of gold will go up again, we jist pretend it hasn’t changed and keep our money valued at $500.’ And if we do that, what’s the difference between that, and what we do now?”
“It seems to me,” I sez, “…that if we do the former, we is bringing about a Depression. IF we do the latter, we is bringing on Inflation. So, what’s the difference between [He-who-must-not-be-named] and what we is already doing?”

Now, I knows that I have them cuz they is looking back and forth at each other, each looking for the other one to answer my question. Sheeplebuy looks at shinerguy and mutters, “Sheeple!”

“You keep using that word,” I sez. “What exactly does it mean?” And he tells me!

I figure my neighbor musta called the police the minute the three [He-who-must-not-be-named] people came into my home, because it was amazing how fast they got there this time. By the time the (two) cops led the three out to their van, it was impossible to differentiate between shinerguy, sheeple-shiner guy and other shinerguy! This time, I did get a warning. The cop said I was not to let these guys back into my house, cuz he was afraid I was gonna break my knuckles, and since I don’t have no health insurance, he didn’t want to have to pay for my visit to the emergency room! I thanked him for his advice and promised not to engage any [He-who-must-not-be-named] workers ever again.

About the Author

Lord Vegas is a true American. some would call him a Mutt, but he prefers the term "Mixed Breed" His full name is Lord Vegas Roy (WAA), named for a well-known hockey goalie who was also a dog! He prides himself on being a political animal. He supports Franz for President!