Redstate

By Moe Lane Posted in Archived — Comments (5) / Email this page » / Leave a comment »

Who in the USA, exactly, was Hollywood expecting to go see this film? (Via BlogRunner, and Glenn needs to fix the link.)

G.I. Joe to Become Global Task Force in Movie
By Catherine Donaldson-Evans

Say it ain't so, G.I. Joe.

The popular all-American comic-book military man and action figure dating back to the 1940s is undergoing a significant transformation for the Paramount Pictures-distributed "G.I. Joe" film, which begins production in February and is scheduled for release in summer 2009.

No longer will G.I. Joe be a U.S. Special Forces soldier, the "Real American Hero" who, in his glory days, single-handedly won World War II.

In the politically correct new millennium, G.I. Joe bears no resemblance to the original.

Paramount has confirmed that in the movie, the name G.I. Joe will become an acronym for "Global Integrated Joint Operating Entity" — an international, coed task force charged with defeating bad guys. It will no longer stand for government issued, as in issued by the American government.

Before we go any further, let me just note: I think that this is stupid-funny, not outrageous. And the reason why is that foreign revenues are all very nice, and you have to think about them - but it's the American dollars that you have to worry about, and as it stands:

1). Progressive American moviegoers will not take their children to see a film that encourages the little tykes to solve problems with violence;

2). Conservative American moviegoers will not take their children to see a film that completely messes up a show that they have fond childhood memories of;

3). Liberal American moviegoers will also not take their children to see a film that completely messes up a show that they have fond childhood memories of - what? I said "liberal," not "progressive."

And

4). Fanboi American moviegoers will not go to - or take their children to see - a film that completely messes up continuity like this.

In short, this is going to be one dud of a project, and I look forward to saying I Told You So. I understand that it's annoying for artists to accept, but it must be faced. The American moviegoing public will go see a live-action version of this, Hollywood:

Deal with it.