Redstate

By Repair Man Jack Posted in Liberals — Comments (1) / Email this page » / Leave a comment »

Hillary, with bayonet tightly between her teeth, advanced with Chelsea beside her towards the grim genocidiers in Tuzla. Her heart beat with sanguine bravery, as she prepared to cut down the screaming, pseudo-sapient madmen standing between Yugoslavians and free health care. It was a pivotal moment for the future of dumbocracy, and it was total, unmitigated male bovine scatology.

There are those who think she misspoke, others who believe she exaggerated a tad, and still others, such as myself, who thinks she could open her mouth and fertilize an entire ethanol farm without substantially raising her pulse. Well, that’s why she hires James Carville to go on Good Morning America and spin. He makes anything obnoxious or disingenuous that pops out of her mouth pale in comparison.

He celebrated Holy Week by blaspheming over the unsubstantial topic of Governor Bill Richardson endorsing Barack Obama. He offered us the following mendacious abuse of the scriptures.

“Mr. Richardson’s endorsement came right around the anniversary of the day when Judas sold out for 30 pieces of silver, so I think the timing is appropriate, if ironic,” Mr. Carville said, referring to Holy Week.

While Carville and Clinton both treat the truth the way New York Governors treat the institution of holy matrimony, it’s Clinton who should take a page from her opponent’s playbook, and go off the air for an island vacation. Her body could use a rest and her mouth and brain could both use a hiatus until the resynchronize.

Claims of braving incoming sniper fire in Bosnia have made her the DNC version of Congressman Wes Cooley. It’s the type of thing that just gets seared on a person’s memory.

So Carville again served as Hillary’s one-man insane clown posse on GMA. He managed to veer into uncharted territory that would have piqued the interest of the late Rod Serling. He not only doesn’t apologize to Governor Bill Richardson, he also doesn’t particularly feel that he and the governor will be close in the future.

Carville surmised as much based on Governor Richardson’s response to Carville’s initial insult to his religious faith and his character. Richardson wouldn’t wrestle the muddy, porcine Carville on account of his desire to maintain clean haberdashery.

Richardson told "Fox News Sunday" that he wouldn't respond by getting "in the gutter like that."

"That's typical of many of the people around Senator Clinton," Richardson said. "They think they have a sense of entitlement to the presidency."

After waddling his way through some non-sequitor about New Mexico cattle ranches, Carville got down the business of channeling his inner sadist. He described his remarks as putting the correct brand on a cow. It was something he just had to be a man and take care of. He repeated this disgusting metaphor as I finished my morning coffee and shut the TV off to escape his pugnacious, ugly mug.

I can only think Carville acts that way intentionally. He believes he can ratchet that jaw up and down and make freakish enough pronouncements to intimidate other Democrats out of supporting Barack Obama or commenting on his pay mistress’ remarkable excursions beyond the boundaries of truth. He’s like the rodeo clown who makes a spectacle of himself to prevent the fallen rider from being trampled and gored. He’s genuinely that sick for a living.

Carville is good at what he does, and it’s a job most Americans have too much dignity and self-respect to do. However, I still believe the man should have worked as a pimp instead. That occupation seems to match his disposition and personality better.

What most professionals consider over the top, pimps consider a Type A personality. Carville couldn’t get more Type A without flying off the edge of the alphabet. His aggression, unfairness and his total disregard for the decency that should prevail in the public square are reflexive and seem hard wired into his being.

Carville is the Jungian archetype of The Hatemonger. With equal malice towards all not named Hillary Clinton, Carville probably assumes that he is a just and equitable man; as opposed to an equal opportunity sleaze-chucker. Carville genuinely defiles American politics, and it works like precision machinery.

Hillary will never know the mortal danger of sniper fire. She will never feel threatened as rounds crack through the Balkan air like miniature spears of lightning; chucked by an angry Zeus. She’s got James Carville to handle the wet work and brand all those wayward cattle afflicted with the audacity to stray from The Clintonian Deceit Ranch. What did America do exactly to deserve a machine like the Clinton model?