Tbone To Vote For Romney!
By Tbone Posted in Archived — Comments (58) / Email this page » / Leave a comment »
In that I will doubtlessly participate in the California primary, I have finally focused on the attributes of the various candidates so that I can make a studied choice as to who to give my doubtlessly deciding vote.(Sorry, Fred you left too soon) I have come to the conclusion that Romney exclusively possesses certain qualities that have left me no choice but to cast my vote for the Mitter. Following, I will enumerate those qualities so that you, the reader, may be edified. Those qualifying qualities are:
1. Romney is not Rudy. I cannot support Rudy because he cannot be trusted to support my Second Amendment Rights. He is the epitome of a RINO and the thought of Snarlin’ Arlen and he sitting down to discuss judicial appointments, to put it nicely, makes me want to puke all over my keyboard. The only positive about Rudy is that he is a tough guy. In fact, had a possessed a higher level of ethics and morality he would have made a decent mid-level mob guy. Instead, he became a lawyer, prosecutor and politician. Oh well.
2. Romney is not Huckabee. Romney is very wealthy. This means that unlike HuckaBuck he does not view the office of President as a cash machine of pardons, post office speaking fees and WhiteHousehold goods as parting gifts like his fellow Arkie crook, Slick Willie. However, the concept of taking an offering at the State of the Union Address has its appeal.
3. Romney is not a lunatic. Regardless of the impression I may have made on some of you from time to time, I have not been judged criminally insane, suffered a severe bullet wound to the head or been inducted into a cult of Federal Reserve Note eating zombies. Consequently, Ron Paul has no appeal as a candidate for anything other than a lobotomy, sterilization or near-term organ donor.
4. Romney is not John McCain. McCain is too cranky, too old and appears to be channeling Hubert Humphrey. Should he be the nominee, his crankiness will not serve him well when the jackals and hyenas of the Mainstream Media turn on him like we all know they will. Further, any Republican who does not consider an endorsement by the New York Times grounds for a defamation suit is just not my kind of guy. At 72, McCain is already in the express lane for Alzheimer's. At least watching Romney deliver future State of the Union Addresses I will not have to wonder whether or not he is wearing Depends underneath his Joseph Smith Signature Collection union suit. And, let's face it, John McCain is basically just an old-line Democrat. That means he is an American first and a Democrat second. There are only about two dozen of these that remain in any level of political office throughout the United States. The chance of one of them getting elected President is very slim regardless of the letter behind their name.
5. I think Romney can beat Billary in the general election. It's recent performance in the Democratic primary process indicates that the People are beginning to recognize this unholy union for what it is. While not salient, but certainly salacious, is that I cannot help but wonder that in the distant past whether the asexual consummation of this "union" was an act of masturbation or incest. In any case, I really do not think that the American people are ready to elect whatever Billary was or has become. Consequently, as a singular human being, Romney has a decided advantage.
6. I also think in the general election Romney can beat Barack (excuse me, I think it was something I ate) Henry (due to a Fatwah issued by the Caliph of Redstate, Moe Hammad Lane, I have substituted Henry for his real middle name) O’Bama (I have joined in the conspiracy which has successfully deluded the Kennedys into thinking he's Irish). While the BHO show, consisting primarily of a wimpy size, 38 regular, empty suit, has proven great appeal to black, female voters from the big “O” to A to Z, I, don't see it, unlike Bill Clinton, being able to create a new "Rainbow Coalition". However, the fact that he may be able to deliver 90% + of the black vote to the Democratic Party may tip the election in his favor. What, the Democrats already get 90% + of the black vote anyway? Well then I guess he better stick to issues with broader appeal like refusing to say the Pledge of Allegiance.
As you can see, Romney possesses all the qualities that I have available to choose from in this election cycle. Consequently, I encourage you to join with me and electing an individual who has the proven capability of adopting whatever political expediencies may be required to appeal to those who voted him into office. As such, it is imperative that should he be elected, we conservatives take full and complete credit for his success. Thank you for your consideration.
However, the concept of taking an offering at the State of the Union Address has its appeal.
...on the edge of my forbearance for some time now, trusting in your ability to make me laugh for your protection.
And, well, yeah, you did it again. :)
The Fuzzy Puppy of the VRWC. I've been usurped!
this just about made me fall out of my chair:
"...due to a Fatwah issued by the Caliph of Redstate, Moe Hammad Lane, I have substituted Henry for his real middle name... ...[and joined]in the conspiracy which has successfully deluded the Kennedys into thinking he's Irish"
Thanks for having a good sense of humor!
**"The issue of economics is not something I've understood as well as I should." - John McCain"**
Good news Tbone. Now if we could get the old grumpy guy that lives with The Prince on board....
A brokered convention ='s defeat in November for the GOP. I'm just sayin'
Franz, Prince of Dogness.
It's a fifty state sweep. He'll probably even get 25% of the vote in DC.
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CongressCritter™: Never have so few felt like they were owed so much by so many for so little.
Of a Franz/Ole Red ticket? Rush has said that Franz may need to pick a cat to appeal to the the other species in the race ;-)
If you ever find that you only have an hour to live,spend it with a liberal and it will seem like a year."-Rush Limbaugh
"You are an idiot!" I know this works for you, but as a campaign slogan I think Franz will need something else. "I'll kill you and eat you!" is probably a little harsh as well.
Man, that would have been so much fun. The MSM would have gone nuts. Is it too late to draft Cheney?
**"The issue of economics is not something I've understood as well as I should." - John McCain"**
I would pay good money to watch him hold regular press conferences.
Doesn't this tend to just feed into the memes that all of the Democrats have tried to build around Cheney in the past few years?
I don't understand how you can think it's funny. Unless you don't believe that the picture of Cheney that's been painted in the media has actually influenced people which it has.
This is tasteless, Neil. Maybe in some esoteric sense of humor it isn't, but basically this might as well be on DKos.
Whenever I think of President John McCain as the leader of the Republican Party in Washington I have to have one.
It's not funny any more. There was a time when it was funny but it isn't now. It's really pathetic to see that this party has been reduced to making fun of itself with Democrat propaganda pieces. Now it's trying to sell me John McCain as a Conservative, also, and that's the biggest laugh I've ever heard of.
I wish he could have run this year. I'd walk a mile to vote for Fred Thompson, but I'd walk five miles to vote for Dick Cheney.
Dog President or is it the First White Black Dog President?
Envisioning when all that is Left is the Right.
And while I'm at it, I think Gordon's question was pretty serious and I'm personally sick of Franz the Prince of Dogness as much as I'm sick of Star Wars metaphors on this website.
You guys like to talk about people who beclown themselves and really for someone coming here from the outside world, RedState looks and sounds like a bunch of people who are total shut-ins, used to laughing at their own inside jokes.
You're not going to win the election(s) this way.
this post reminds me of a joke I heard in college (while attending University of Northern Colorado in Greeley... go Bears!)
Kevin Nealon came to town, and this was his opening:
"Greeley... what a great town. A lot of stuff to do here. Any time you want, you can go to Ft. Collins, Estes Park, Boulder, Denver, Loveland..."
now they don't even have the Broncos training camp...
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Two thirds of the world is covered by water,
the other third is covered by Champ Bailey.
Hey, a possitive and well thought out argument FOR a canditdate. I like it.
But yeah. This is the point at which we find oureelves.....oy vey.
"Any love letter is incomplete without a Ronald Reagan quote"
--my sophomore year roommate
...for me. I could seriously see McCain nominating a squish like Kennedy or O'Connor, or worse, a total lib like David Souter.
“.....women and minorities hardest hit”
The kickster, the kickmeister.
Just sayin' I got a great kick out of this from Tbone, which... fulfills my expectations.
As in, this has to be my favorite "Why I'm Voting For This Knucklehead and not the Other Knuckleheads" diary of all time.
Thanks - great read, as always.
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Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie' until you can find a rock.
You had me laughing throughout.
You must really have something juicy on one of the moderators not to get banned. :)
Iustum et tenacem propositi virum non civium ardor prava iubentium, non vultus instantis tyranni mente quatit solida.
-Quintus Horatius Flaccus
If You Liked George Bush's "New Tone™", You're Gonna LOOOOVE John McCain's "Bipartisanship™" ...
day and was reluctant to tune in to the usual "Vote for My Bum, He's Better than Your Bum and Here's Why" stuff. And your diary just cracked me up and made my day. And you know what? It's all true, every last word. I'm SOOOO glad that Moe didn't make you retract a single syllable of it! Thank you, thank you, thank you.
isn't really Hammad. It is really "Town" and he is a recovering heroin addict drummer in the combo in which I play the sax. Honest.
Envisioning when all that is Left is the Right.
are off the hook for lusting after Babs Boxer back in the summer--it was an extremely hot summer and I understand that lots of beer was drunk, nuff said. :-)
part that I took advantage of. But I agree, David. The equivalent for women would be lusting after John Kerry. (Sweet Jeebus, the very thought is...is...unthinkable. I refer to your statement above and up the ante by saying that there's not enough of ANY kind of alcohol to make that thought palatable.)
but I didn't know you played the sax!! That's great! You can play with Bill and Mike.
And great diary. Glad to have a quality endorsement like this for Mitt. :)
I meant what I said and I said what I meant. An elephant's faithful 100 percent.
I want to hear "Sail Along Silvery Moon" as popularized by Billy Vaughn and his Twin Saxophone sound. Then maybe accompanying a nice version of "My Reverie" with Connie Francis singing.
The "Third Worst Person in the World" and aiming higher.
1. Romney is not Rudy. I cannot support Rudy because he cannot be trusted to support my Second Amendment Rights.
Do a bit of homework to avoid beclowning in this area.
Mitt Romney said when campaigning "The NRA will not make a hero out of me" and was a strong supporter of gun control. He joined the NRA as a life member exactly 6 months before he announced he was running for President.
He claimed that he was a lifelong hunter, until it was pointed out he has gone hunting twice, at age 7 and at 58.
He claimed to have been endorsed by the NRA, then when it was pointed out that it was a lie, he claimed to have misunderstood.
Mitt Romney has less credibility on the 2nd amendment than he does on becoming pro life because he has not bothered to create a story about his conversion into a person who understands why he was WRONG the whole time he governed on this issue.
Because as I said: "Consequently, I encourage you to join with me and electing an individual who has the proven capability of adopting whatever political expediencies may be required to appeal to those who voted him into office."
See how it works?
Envisioning when all that is Left is the Right.
"He claimed that he was a lifelong hunter, until it was pointed out he has gone hunting twice, at age 7 and at 58."
By McCain standards, that's a gold-plated truth. I mean, just because he isn't hunting now, doesn't mean he isn't still a hunter. And you can't blame him for not starting before the age of seven. I don't think the Governor of Michigan would let him have a gun before then.
ergo: "lifelong hunter."
I mean, nobody hunts all the time.
The "Third Worst Person in the World" and aiming higher.
I needed that before facing the State of the Union. And that Picture of Cheney is now my new screen saver.
and the first blog I read was yours. Spent 5 minutes ROFLMAO. In all my years I don't think I've read a funnier or snarkier exposition of the 'where's the biggest clothespin I can find' vote. Outstanding!!
"All that need be done for evil to triumph is for good men to do nothing."
but what the heck is he?
who made a lot of money on his own hook, ran a successful Olympics, got elected in a communist commonwealth as a Republican, has a typically successful Mormon family and has nothing left better to do than to add "President of the United States of America" to the ol' resume thereby assuring himself one of those really cool State Funerals.
As such, I trust him to do less damage than any of the intellectual, ethical and/or moral dwarfs he is running against.
Envisioning when all that is Left is the Right.
It was kinda snarky but I know half your heart is there at least. I like to think it's the good half. Quit worrying and come back with the wholehearted endorsement.
http://naplesnews.com/news/2008/jan/29/exit-polls-find-out-whos-leading-...
Mitt Romney - 100
John McCain - 62
Rudy Giuliani - 32
Mike Huckabee - 15
Fred Thompson – 3
Ron Paul - 2
I hope against hope that Thompson gets his share up.
GO FRED!!!
The "Third Worst Person in the World" and aiming higher.
I will only say that he is definitely not any of the things you said he was not. So, right on there.
-White Goodman