What will be in this Super Secret Immigration Bill?
I. just. don't. know.
By Mark Kilmer Posted in Immigration — Comments (33) / Email this page » / Leave a comment »
As Erick reported, we were told that there was going to be a draft immigration bill. Now, we're told that there is no complete bill yet. The staff lawyers and throwing it together as we type or read, and it won't be ready until tomorrow at the earliest. This won't matter to us, of course, because we won't see it until it is put on the web site until after the vote. The vote will be as late as Tuesday, so we might not see it until Wednesday at an earliest. It is what Erick has heard from the sources on the Hill. (And may God bless them all.)
What will be in this SUPER SECRET immigration bill? Maybe they're guaranteeing that the illegals will receive $400 haircuts. Or free tickets to Padres games. Or genuine William Jefferson refrigerators. Harry Reid will help them with the land deals required to find residence. One of Paris Hilton's Get Out of Jail Free cards. A position in the soon-to-be-created U.S. Bureau of Paying Jobs for People who Need to Stay in the Country.
I have nothing against honest, hard-working immigrants of any kind. My gripe, right now, is with the Congress.
Perhaps Congress wants to give them Surplus Cheese. Or to require them to join Labor Unions
Play really bad '90s music at the border to repel those who would cross the border without a note from their parents or a judge.
This will work out, though they'll probably have to whittle it down to a more manageable length; I don't know, 750-pages not including footnotes, endnotes, appendices, and obiter dicta.
What do you think are the secrets?