"An iPod In Every Ear!"
'Cause You Can't Put A Price On Tunes
By Pejman Yousefzadeh Posted in Featured Stories | Policy — Comments (16) / Email this page » / Leave a comment »
Apparently, that is the Fifth Freedom. Or something.
You know you want to read on . . .
We have come to the conclusion that the crisis Michigan faces is not a shortage of revenue, but an excess of idiocy. Facing a budget deficit that has passed the $1 billion mark, House Democrats Thursday offered a spending plan that would buy a MP3 player or iPod for every school child in Michigan.
No cost estimate was attached to their hare-brained idea to "invest" in education. Details, we are promised, will follow.
The Democrats, led by their increasingly erratic speaker Andy Dillon of Redford Township, also pledge $100 million to make better downtowns.
Their plan goes beyond cluelessness. Democrats are either entirely indifferent to the idea that extreme hard times demand extreme belt tightening, or they are bone stupid. We lean toward the latter.
We say that because the House plan also keeps alive, again without specifics, the promise of tax hikes.
The range of options, according to Rep. Steve Tobocman, D-Detroit, includes raising the income tax, levying a 6 percent tax on some services, and taxing junk food and soda.
We wonder how financially strained Michigan residents will feel about paying higher taxes to buy someone else's kid an iPod.
That they would include such frivolity in a crisis budget plan indicates how tough it will be to bring real spending reform to Michigan.
In honor of this government-funded iPod disbursement, I propose that the following songs be included free in a playlist entitled "Nanny State":
- Alice Cooper, "Billion Dollar Babies."
- Destiny's Child, "Bills, Bills, Bills."
- Stevie V, "Dirty Cash."
- Ruff Ryders, "Dope Money."
- The Commodores, "Goin' To The Bank" (which we wish the Michigan Legislature would do instead of engaging in this nonsense. But I digress.)
- ODB "Got Your Money." (Alas, for the good people of Michigan, the Legislature serenades them with this one quite often.)
- Nine Inch Nails, "Head Like A Hole." (Self explanatory.)
- ABC, "How To Be A Millionaire" (Psst: Don't spend like the Michigan Legislature!)
- Everclear, "I Will Buy You a New Life" (Doubtless this will be an expenditure in the next fiscal year.)
- The Notorious B.I.G., "Mo' Money, Mo' Problems."
- Prince, "Money Don't Matter 2 Night." (Or any night in the Wolverine State.)
- Arthur Johnston and Johnny Burke, "Pennies from Heaven." (Someone has to fund this.)
- Suicidal Tendencies, "Send Me Your Money." ("So we can waste it!"--Michigan Legislature.)
- Steve Miller Band, "Take the Money and Run." (The taxpayers see this all the time.)
(God bless Wikipedia. It has its uses, I tell you.)