Somebody fire up the Orbital Mind Control Lasers, STAT!

Somebody just went through the wire.

By Moe Lane Posted in Comments (11) / Email this page » / Leave a comment »

I was going to be considerably more cruel about the truly unfortunate news that Cindy Sheehan is quitting the Democratic Party - yeah, I know. Establishment Democrat stomach acid production dropped 20% within 24 hours of hearing the news - but I shall forbear, for two reasons. The first is this picture:

Help.  A crazy white woman has attached herself to my back.

"Help. A crazy white woman has attached herself to my back." (H/T Hot Air)

It takes a lot to make me feel sorry for Rev. Jesse Jackson, but seeing him forced to make physical contact with Sheehan will actually do. Yeah, yeah, I know: he made his bed, let him lie in it, but still: you can just see him concentrating on his back and wondering if that tingling sensation is the crazy coming through. Anyway, that's the one reason: the other? She's thinking about running for Congress (Via, again, Hot Air).

Because, you know, God apparently really is a Republican.

Read on.

Looking at the Times' handy-dandy 2006 House results graphic - and, much as we mock the Old Grey Lady, it must be noted that they consistently have some pretty good online databases - and Sheehan's residency options, I'm going to recommend the following races for her: either CA's 11th District, or TX's 22nd and/or 23rd. All three were flipped from Republican to Democratic in the last election, so surely she and her overriding moral authority can handle both beating the incumbent in a primary fight and defeating the Republican challenger. I mean, we keep getting told over and over again about how the progressive antiwar movement represents the true face of America - usually right after Establishment Democrats react to VRWC opposition like scared little chinchillas* (to wit, die on the spot) - so it'd not even be a challenge, right?

I encourage our readers to pick their own races for Sheehan to enter. Don't worry if it's for a district not in California or Texas: the woman's already demonstrated that she's quite accomplished at rationalization (the unkind would say 'denial', or perhaps 'deliberately induced insanity'). You looking at a hard race? Give 'er a call!

Moe

PS: Yes, I know, it'll never happen. The Establishment Democrats are on track to purge the progressives during the course of the summer; there's an election coming up, after all, and the last thing that the former needs is for the latter to mess up what promises to be an excellent shot at the Oval Office. Still. If we're sufficently mocking, maybe she'll do it anyway.

Every little bit helps.

*When properly fed and cared for, rabbits are actually fairly bada*s.

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Somebody fire up the Orbital Mind Control Lasers, STAT! 11 Comments (0 topical, 11 editorial, 0 hidden) Post a comment »

...couldn't happen to nicer people.

RUN Cindy, RUN!

...curl up into a ball like furry little roly-polies?

Who, as Jeff Goldstein will cheerfully tell you, are really quite the beligerent sort of mammals. Must be the armor plating.

The Fuzzy Puppy of the VRWC. I've been usurped!

And, I'm glad someone else believes that God is a Republican.

Those two deserve each other!!

Now that Sheehan has gone off the grid, it's just a matter of time before the next ultra-lefty "third party" candidate emerges to give the freaks someone to write picket signs and paint their faces for. Maybe Michael Moore will run, with Jimmy Carter as a campaign consultant. How's Ralph Nader's heart/lung machine doing these days?

I am pretty sure stranger things have happened.
______________________________
"Those who expect to reap the blessings of freedom must, like men, undergo the fatigue of supporting it."
-Thomas Paine: The American Crisis, No. 4, 1777

He's not worried about crazy coming through, it's a two way transfusion. He transfers spite and venom and she transfers feelings of self importance.

The correct term, I believe, is 'Remora'

The ol' Orbital Mind Control Lasers were one of those Illuminati groups that got fought over every game they came up in, much like the Semi-Conscious Liberation Army. One game I managed to get control of the OMCLs and the Int'l Communist Conspiracy, which made for an extremely potent combination-- the ICC had power 7, Communist alignment and an extra +3 to control any communist group, so I'd zap an uncontrolled group with the OMCLs, make them temporarily communist, then attack with the ICC. 7 power, +4 alignment bonus, +3 extra bonus, and the 8 Illuminati transferable power-- I routinely ran up numbers like 20 or less attacking before spending money. Good times.

---
(Formerly known as bee) / Internet member since 1987
Member of the Surreality-Based Community

______________________________
"Those who expect to reap the blessings of freedom must, like men, undergo the fatigue of supporting it."
-Thomas Paine: The American Crisis, No. 4, 1777

---
(Formerly known as bee) / Internet member since 1987
Member of the Surreality-Based Community

 
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