Redstate

I don't know who should be more upset: the bears, or his wife.

By Moe Lane Posted in Energy — Comments (3) / Email this page » / Leave a comment »

It's hard to say, really. Mark Hemingway, in the process of catching the Live Earth so that I wouldn't have to - and, might I add, doing a much better job of sarcastic mockery than I could hope to duplicate - noted a couple of, ah, glaring little betrayals. The first?

Al segues into introducing a “wonderful American rock band” the Foo Fighters performing in London. I’ll just note that the Foo Fighters last radio hit was a cover of Prince’s “Darling Nikki,” the song supposedly so obscene when Tipper Gore heard her daughter listening to it, she formed the Parents’ Music Resource Center and the ensuing congressional hearings forced the music industry to adopt parental warning stickers. Either she has no integrity whatsoever, or I’m imagining that concert organizers locked Tipper in a trunk under the under the stage with a ball gag in her mouth.

(pause)

'Ball gag.' Well, it's certainly not your father's National Review, now is it? Not that I'd disagree with his range of options, mind you. You do have to wonder: is Mr. Gore's entire adoption of the cause of global warming nothing more than a particularly baroque expression of a mid-life crisis? Because it'd be easier on pretty much the entire rest of the planet if he and Tipper would just go into marriage counseling to discuss his loss of interest in her hobbies.

Just saying, that's all.

Some exceptionally bad math - just the way the Greenies like it! - after the fold, so read on.

But enough about the wife: let's talk about the mistress. I refer, of course, to Ursus maritimus, or the polar bear. We had noted earlier Al Gore's apparent falling out and subtle revenge against his former beloveds... so how shocking to note that he has accelerated their destruction! Link via Hemingway:

The total carbon footprint of the event, taking into account the artists' and spectators' travel to the concert, and the energy consumption on the day, is likely to be at least 31,500 tonnes of carbon emissions, according to John Buckley of Carbonfootprint.com, who specialises in such calculations.

Throw in the television audience and it comes to a staggering 74,500 tonnes. In comparison, the average Briton produces ten tonnes in a year.

Now, Fox News reports that British Petroleum reports that the average American household generates 19 metric tons of carbon a year. We previously calculated that each household is responsible for the deaths of 0.0001818 bears per year (see above link for math). Therefore, 19 metric tons = 0.0001818 bpy; which works out to 1 metric ton = 0.00000957 bpy (rounded). This means that - in one day - Al Gore has managed to raise his Bear Guilt Index (BGI) by 7.1 decibears. Decibears. Not millibears. Yes, that means that his BGI has increased by at least two orders of magnitude.

This poor creature:

Look upon your victim, Al Gore! Look, too, everyone who watched this program. Was murdering this poor, helpless bear really worth the multiple hours of bad music programming? What am I saying? Knowing you ecorapists, it probably was. God, I wish I knew what the Earth ever did to Al Gore, for him to hate it so.

Well, besides refusing to recognize his greatness, of course.

Moe Lane

PS: They also apparently ran out of beer in Australia. Which is not necessarily an act of ecocide, but it was still incredibly stupid of them. I mean. Beer. Australia. This shouldn't have been hard to remember. (Via Glenn)