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is this perfumed, manicured, three-headed monster looming over the adoption process.

1. There is the desire of adoptive parents wanting a child that mostly looks like them.
   
   
2. There is the establishment undercurrent that says children should be placed with parents of their own hereditary ethnicity, to develop their sense of cultural identity.
   
   
3. There is the fear that the kid will grow up and want to know his "real parents". See points 1 and 2.

That's pain, all around.

the morbid dread that, as my wife and I have considered, we might raise an adopted child - adopted in the US, that is - for, say, eight years, only to have the birth parent, a recovering addict only some months into sobriety, sue for custody.  It would be preferable were it the case, uniformly, that relinquishing a child for adoption means that you will never, ever, again have any claim whatsoever upon that child.  Period.  

other huge problem: finality.

The virtue of adopting a child from Costa Rica, Russia, China, or wherever, is that you can be somewhat assured that the procedure is final.

Not so in many US jurisdictions (see the "Baby Richard" case) and moreso in the case of foster children, some of the hardest to place children, being adopted by their foster parents.

will have reporters on the case and try to get the adoption file opened.

I should have mentioned those points.  

Finality.

As an adoptee myself, I'd like nothing more than for this process to be streamlined to facilite faster, more affordable adoptions available here in the US.  The issue of finality is a key, there are many children here in the US who should be in adoptive homes who are not, & there are many propsective parents who would otherwise adopt children from here in the US who are going overseas to avoid the hassle of "open" and "semi-open" adoptions and the treat of having a birth parent "change their minds" in later years.  

My wife and I adopted two girls from China.  Other than the travel (which many will find interesting in itself), it was a simple enough process.  The basics are the same as a domestic adoption -- a home study, intended to determine whether the adoptive home is appropriate for a child (in truth, it's very superficial and is incapable of "determining" much of anything); a criminal background check; and some minimal financial standards.  You also need to get a visa to bring the child home.  The INS is typically more of a nuisance to deal with than the Chinese.  So, while the process of adopting in China involves some paper-pushing -- you need to get all the papers stamped and sealed, for example -- both with the INS and the Chinese, none of it is particularly complicated.

As for domestic adoptions, the fact is that the vast majority of adoptions in the US are trouble-free as well.  Courts are sensitive to the potential for extortion when long-absent biological parents show up.  While there are a few horror stories that occasionally pop up (does anyone really think there is any important aspect of life free from horror stories?), the risk is small.  If the risk in domestic adoptions is about finality, in foreign adoptions it's a potential medical issue (fetal alcohol syndrome or something like that) that only shows up after infancy.  

OK, so life has some risks; adoption is part of life; and it has some risks too.  But adopting a child is pretty low on the list of risky behaviours.  No one should let those concerns dissuade him from adopting a child -- it's truly a blessing all the way around.

the lack of finality in adoptions as a deterrent, especially with foster children.

But real or perceived, I think you will find that finality is a huge issue with potential adoptive parents and some action that would take adoptions out of court purview once they are finalized could not but help the situation.

Overseas adoptions are a crapshoot. There are two countries I'd consider adopting from and Russia and China aren't among them.

Go for major reforms in all of the bureaucracies.  Make sure that they become efficient and responsive to the people who are paying for them.

I know little about adoption but it doesn't make sense in a world with abortion.  Here is our society killing unwanted kids on one side of the equation and people willing to spend tens of thousands to get  a child on the other (adoption or medical technology).

Am I stupid or is there a great opportunity for a grand solution that helps those who are pregnant with children they can't afford, and those who are willing to go to great lengths to secure the same children?

someplace. And the immigration debacle tells me that the Congress needs to stop looking for "comprehensive" solutions; pick something, one thing,  anything, and fix it.

ALL of the bureaucracies have this problem.  Not just adoption/foster care, but the environmental agencies, the IRS, and yes, immigration.  Don't exempt any of them - simply go for them all.

Comprehensive is sometimes the only option, and this is one of those places where it is needed.

My wife and I adopted our daughter from Russia and consider the entire process a blessing. Yes, we thought it seemed risky, and didn't know the details of all we'd come up against ahead of time; but I'm sure biological parents feel the same way at times.

We chose international adoption for the finality. Different US states have different laws as to how long a biological parent has to change their mind after the birth of the child. We didn't ant any part of that and we knew family and friends who had adopted from China and Russia. We had an absolutely wonderful time in Russia, met great people there, and hope to go back again.  

One of the more interesting conversations I had there was when I asked our interpreter why the city we were in still had a statue of Lenin in their square; she replied that they did not know what to replace it with. To me that really summarized the stifling effect that Communism had on the creativity of those people.

I just don't think we ever get anywhere when we try to fix too much at one time. Pick one and fix it, then pick another one and fix that, and so on...

who have adopted a total of four Russian kids. Mostly a good experience, though one had to grease a lot of palms.

My wife and I start our adoption classes tomorrow.

They do not make the process easy, and that is as it should be.

  At least in our state (Texas) there is no pressure not to adopt outside of your own ethnicity. There is however a lack of younger children to adopt unless you are one of those godly souls who is secure in adopting a retarded, or special needs child.

  My wife and I are at an age where we will only get one shot at this, so I will try to adopt a normal child, and will probably have to look outside the country.

Pop Cutlure is taking this on now. Watch Desperate Housewives lately?

Seriously, if someone can make the decision to give up their child for a better life, it should be a permanent decision. No alternatives.

"Overseas adoptions are a crapshoot. There are two countries I'd consider adopting from and Russia and China aren't among them."

Suit yourself.  I didn't find it that way and it worked for me (twice).

My wife and I adopted our first (from China) when we were 46, and our second at 49.  When we got our first, there was a retired Navy couple from NH adopting their second -- and they were in their late 60s, and already grandparents the old fashioned way.  They were adopting a 5 year old girl when we met them in China.  We also met their first adopted daughter, who came with them.  She was then about 7 or so, and spoke English perfectly even though she had been adopted only about 2 years earlier.  I can't say I recommend doing that, but age is not necessarily the barrier you may think it is.  

I certainly sympathize with adoptive parents, and want-to-be adoptive parents. Like any bureaucracy laced activity I'm certain that it is a complex, pitfall filled, frustrating activity.

That being said, with all of the things we want Congress to deal with (national security, energy security, terrorism, Iran, illegal aliens, abortion, et al) is this really a high priority item?

The government needs to reconsider all the bureacratic barriers to adoption.

Adoption is a win-win situation for all parties involved.  

There's a ton of case law that gives the birth parents wriggle room to have an adoption overturned.  The impact of this kind-hearted, soft-headed thinking has been to make a mockery of the adoption process.

As far as I'm concerned, the first time one of these cases came up, the judge should have shut it down, and every judge worth his/her salt up the line should have backed him/her up.

The sanctity of the adoption process should have always been placed first.  There's no possible justification tht birth parents can come up with that can justify undermining every adoptive family in the country.  There comes a point where preventing a huge injustice to a class of innocent people justifies an injustice to an individual, and if you don't have enough backbone to recognize that, you have no right being on the bench, particularly not in family court.

Unfortunately, from where we are today it's going to take some serious reform of the law, and the vacating of a lot of case law, in order to get back to the point where adoption papers are treated as if they were carved in stone and signed in blood.

If you want a girl.

Simply put... its a buyers market. They are giving away all their girls as the boys are all most couples want if they can only have one child (it's a cultural thing). The girls aren't being given away due to broken families, defects, drug addiction or any other ills other than their gender.

Side note: In 15 years all those Chinese boys will grow up and have nobody to marry. They will have to import brides or leave the country. It will be interesting to see what the Chinese identity and the country evolves into after a melting pot of Asian cultures truly is 'born'.

Or become a jihadist out of sexual, economic and financial frustrations like most young Arabian men. China's future will reside not just in the iron fist of Communist rule, but in the wandering feet of it's unfulfilled young men.

that comment didn't come out quite right.

In Russia and China you don't have much of a guarantee as to the pre-natal care/nutrition of the mother.

That's all.

I am curious, when I looked at the PRC on adoption It said that they did not allow people over the age of 45 to adopt. Is that true, or was this Taiwan?

This isn't something being covered as of late at all. In my experience, parents who adopt give so much of themselves, it's about time we make their struggle easier.

It's the sort of "pro-family" thing that couldn't be described as "anti-choice". We could use a couple of those.

Just got back from my first adoption class.

Its going to be a long, hard, struggle, but The prize is worth it.

I generally like to lurk but I decided to come out of the woodwork for this topic. Adoption reform is just the kind of idea that conservatives need to be championing (this from a liberal). There is plenty of consensus and I would have no problem supporting  even an otherwise detestable senator like Frist or Santorum if they make a real effort to get more American children into homes that want them.

even if you're one of those "detestable" persons who likes the Transformers.

(just giving you a hard time)

We adopted our two girls in 1996 and 2000.  There are many families we know in the NYC metro area who have adopted from China since then, where the parents were over the age of 45.  

Here is the discussion on age and eligibility from the "adoption guidelines" page posted by Families with Children from China (available at fwcc.org):

"How old do you need to be to adopt? Requirements for adopting a healthy infant child are quite simple: You must be at least 30 years old. Unlike many international adoption programs, China imposes a minimum age, and parents over 55 may not be allowed to adopt. Singles can adopt and there are many singles in FCC who have adopted. However China has set up a strict quota of only 8% of all adoptions can be to single parents. This has led to waiting lists of two years or more for single parent 'slots'. Single parents may wish to consider other countries that allow single parent adoption. See the guide that can be ordered from the International Concerns Committee for Children for a current list of countries allowing single parents to adopt."

"What requirements do the parents have to meet? To adopt a healthy child, Chinese law requires that the parents be over the age of 30 and newly issued regulations (below) place a hard upper limit of 55 for parents. In addition, parents aged 50-55 must be prepared to accept a child of 3 or older. The parents also need to have sufficient income to support the child and to be in reasonably good health. The Chinese do not have specific numerical standards although some agencies have set their own limits."

You should also be aware that the Chinese have special and easier rules for adopting children with "special needs" -- which is not what it sounds like at all.  Older kids (3-5) and kids with minor medical issues, easily taken care of in the US, are classified as "special needs."  The time line to adopt kids in that category is much quicker; and the already pretty lax restrictions are even more flexible.

If you're interested, Families with Children from China is a good resource to check out.  The NYC metro chapter will be having its family day on May 20.  Typically about 1,000 families attend, and lot's of information is available at the event.  You'll also find that almost everyone who has adopted from China is more than happy to help others who are thinking about doing the same.  

Finality of adoption is an issue for domestic cases. The agencies told us that (at least in Illinois) there's a 72 hour period during which the birth mother can change her mind. We were worried about depending on that, though.

 Another issue to consider when considering domestic adoption of an infant is the weirdness of the process. Prospective parents make what is essentially an infomercial for themselves in the form of a scrapbook-like document. Pregnant women considering adoption look though these books and pick where their baby will go. The agenices told us that these women (typically teenagers) will usually pick the family they wish they had. We (a pair of physicists in our 40s) weren't sure we would compete well in that system.

The health of the baby is a big question, too. Fetal Alcohol Syndrome is a worry when adopting, especially in the US and Eastern Europe.

We ended up adopting a beautiful baby boy from Guatemala. We were very happy with the process and would do it again if we weren't so old.

It's true that, in adopting an infant from China, you know nothing about the child's biological family, or the pre-natal care the child received prior to arrival at the orphanage.  Typically, what an adoptive parent gets is a copy of the police entry saying, in substance, that the child was found abandoned at a particular time and place and that from a medical exam, the child's birth date was estimated to be a few days or weeks prior to being found.  There are some older kids who come to the orphanages for other reasons but most are abandoned shortly after birth.

The care these kids receive in the orphanage is pretty basic -- China is still a poor place particularly for those at the bottom of the social scale -- but we were impressed by how well the kids were cared for taking into account those limitations.  They are generally well fed and cared for, and get basic medical care and innoculations.  In the larger orphanages the main problem is that the babies don't get as much exercise as one would want, and often their muscle tone isn't great.  Also a lot of the kids have a respiratory ailment -- basically a cold or low grade infection of some kind -- because heating is sometimes not available, and those kinds of things spread easily when there are lots of kids in an enclosed place, etc.  (Same thing happens here with kids in pre-school.)  But those problems are not a big deal, and are often resolved even before one leaves China for the US.  (The routine in adopting from China is that, after you receive your baby from the Chinese, in whatever part of China the orphanage is located, you have to travel to Guangjou (Canton) and pick up the visa from the US Consulate that will allow you to take the baby into the US.  Most parents then take the short trip from Guangjou to Hong Kong, where the medical services are excellent if you need them, and return to the US from HK.  

Fetal alcohol syndrome, HIV and those kinds of problems were almost non-existent when I was adopting my kids from China.  In general, the Chinese were pretty straightforward in describing the medical condition of the babies offered for international adoption.  We had the impression that they wanted to make sure that the babies offered for international adoption were healthy and well cared for.  That was certainly our experience, and I think it was the general experience that the many families in the NYC metro area we know who adopted from China also had.