satire
Posted at 10:05pm on Feb. 6, 2008 Shirt? Check. Shoes? Check. Acceptable Body Mass Index? Ummm.....
By Jeff Emanuel
Update: For another entrant into the below-mentioned department of legislation, check out this oldie but goodie from 2006: a Democrat State Senator from Ohio filing legislation that would make it illegal for registered Republicans to adopt in that state.
From the department of "ridiculous legislation ostensibly submitted for the purpose of getting folks' attention" comes this gem from Mississippi.
Known by the stimulating and descriptive title of "House Bill No. 282," legislation has been introduced in the Mississippi state assembly that would prevent restaurants from...serving obese people.
Read on.
Posted in Health care | Mississippi | obesity | Policy | satire — Comments (23) / Email this page » / Read More »
Posted at 9:19am on Nov. 20, 2007 It's national Turkey-pardoning day (comments enabled)
By Jeff Emanuel
Today, in honor of Thanksgiving, a Turkey will receive a Presidential pardon and be spared for at least another year.
To this point, there has been no word on whether President Bush will be formally ceding his powers to Vice President Cheney for the morning in order to officially receive that pardon.
Posted at 10:15am on Jun. 14, 2007 The White House Morning Update
Courtesy of the White House Communications office
By Jeff Emanuel
Today's Presidential to-do list:
(A) Piss off the base.
(B) Make no response to the self-fulfilling claim by the opposition's leaders that "The War is Lost."
(C) Stay away from the Bully Pulpit!!
(D) Continue to push immigration "reform," ignoring the irony inherent in saying that the last six years were so disastrous that it must be fixed now, regardless who stands in the way.
(E) Plug ears and whistle loudly if somebody says "Iraq" (it's easier to live with not defending yourself if you don't hear anything insulting, ever).
(F) Question someone's patriotism. Hmmm.....who would be the easiest target for that? Ah -- conservatives!
(G) Check and see if Harriet Miers is still available. After all, rumor has it that there may be a SCOTUS opening in the next year and a half.
(H) Make a to-do list for Ed Gillespie, just to make sure that he understands his purpose here. Item one on that list: remove from your own to-do list anything that remotely resembles "fighting back," "mounting coherent policy defenses," "legislative prioritizing," or "communicating" in any way.
(I) See if Congress has time on their schedule again today for another visit. After all, that cafeteria food down at the Capitol Building is pretty durn good (and not too expensive), and there's no pressure when there of anybody thinking that I'm actually in charge or anything.
(J) Send my sacrificial lambs from OSI back over to RedState to get walloped in the comments again. Heh -- that's some pretty entertaining readin'. It's not my fault that those RedStaters don't want to do what's best for America.
(K) Anybody got a pretzel?
Posted in satire | The White House — Comments (51)/ Email this page » / Read More »
